Finding the Missing Lopez

 This is a picture of Utuado, Puerto Rico, mid 1800s, during the Golden Age of coffee plantations.  (Thank you Wikipedia.) Coffee manufacturing may be a clue as to how my maternal grandmother and maternal grandfather met in Utuado.  A few posts ago when I was writing about inheritance I mentioned that there were branches in my family tree that were vacant.  Correction.  I didn't use the term branches.  I think I said, kit with missing pieces. 

Well,  a short visit this week with a close relative added the beginnings of a branch, the maternal grandfather branch.  While my sister and I visited, we began speaking of genealogy, and she brought out her genealogy book.  She took out one of the pages and handed it to us.  It was a page I had forgotten about.

Many years ago, my mother had listed the first and last name of her father on this page.  She also listed 4 siblings, half brothers and sisters.  This happened way before I was interested in genealogy.  Truth be told, I had helped her complete the form.  Most of it was written in my own handwriting.  It should have been something I treasured.  At the very least, I should have copied it.  (Lesson to be learned--we forget important stuff. Write important stuff down)

In my mother's handwriting were the list of foods she cooked for us that were favorites.  (You know I had to have my sister take a picture of the page.)  Since I had never copied the page, the information on it was just about all erased from my memory.  After all those years, I could only remember one other name besides her father's name.  It was the name of one of her half sisters.   I remembered it because I am named after her. She is my namesake.

What I didn't know, as I copied the names into my smart phone, was that it would make finding him, my maternal grandfather, so much easier.  I had been searching for him for years.  I knew his first name and surname.  But I didn't have his surname on his mother's side.  And because in Puerto Rico, as in many Latin/Hispanic countries, both names were/are used, identity is facilitated by having 2 surnames.

Late that night, I placed the names of the half siblings on my tree at Ancestry.com and then did a search on one of them.  I found him (the missing Lopez) and them (half brothers and sisters) on the 1910, 1920, and 1930 census done in Puerto Rico.  In 1898 the island of Puerto Rico became a United States territory when Spain ceded the island to the United States.  In 1899 the War Ministry conducted its own census.  But the first U.S. decennial census took place in 1910.  The 1940 census will be available on Ancestry.com in March.  I will probably find them on the 1940 census as well.

You can just imagine how I felt.  I was overjoyed.  I had been searching for so long.  Finally, I really knew who he was. I had both surnames.  That, in and of itself, would facilitate the research still ahead.  But for now, there was a connection I had to honor. My maternal grandmother had fallen in love with this man. Even if the circumstances were wrong,  I had to honor the love that resulted in the birth of my mother.  As in so many cases, the love affair did not last.  My grandmother never spoke of him. My mother never met him.  And here I was peeping in on him and his family in 1910-1930 via the census and learning that he worked as a supervisor/manager in a coffee plantation. Could that be where he met my grandmother?  Was she someone he supervised?  He was 24 years her senior, was he charming and mysterious?  Was she swept off her feet?  Was the coffee plantation the only place she could find work in the town of Utuado?  See where your imagination can lead you.  That's right, to too many unanswered questions.  Sometimes you just have to tell your imagination to shut down!

 There are several reasons why I desire to meet members of this side of the family.  The first would be to succeed where my mother failed, and in the doing, to claim her rightful place in their family tree.  The second, to determine if there are important medical conditions we should know about. Can you guess what the third would be?  Yep, DNA.

Sephardim.com is a research tool for Sephardic genealogy.  It has an extensive list of Sephardic names. All of the names in my family tree are on the list.  Lopez is one of them.  Lopez (Lopes) in Latin is spelled Lopus, and it means wolf.  Biblicly, the wolf is the symbol of the tribe of Benjamin.  It is referenced in B'resheet (Genesis) 49:27, "Binyamin is a ravenous wolf, in the morning devouring the prey, in the evening still dividing the spoil." (Complete Jewish Bible)  Could it be that my maternal grandfather was of Jewish ancestry?  If so, and if tested, one of his living male descendants could carry DNA to support it. 

At Sephardim.com I have seen many family crests for the name Lopez.  This family crest has the Star of David.  It is one of my favorites.

A Special Shabbat

This Shabbat turned out to be very special because my sisters are visiting from New York.  They kindled the Shabbat candles with me to usher in the weekly time of rest that our Creator has ordained.  They tasted and loved the Challah bread that I bake for Shabbat since becoming a Messianic believer.  The deeper meaning of the candles, the wine and the bread made the Shabbat meal more significant for them.

They attended and loved the Messianic Shabbat service at Sar Shalom.  Rabbi Mark has begun a new teaching series on the book of Matthew.  To say they (all of us there) were blessed is a gross understatement.   They (we) were overjoyed.  RS said her cup was overflowing. 

To top that, 2 other dear friends of mine also attended Shabbat service for the first time.  The Shabbat service was a glorious experience for them as well.  They shared that they were overcome with emotion when the Torah Scroll was carried in.  Why was that?  Because Baruch HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) was proving once again that His Torah is mighty.  Any preconceived notions of the "Messianic" were dispelled, and all that remained was HaShem's love.

Later on our small group was gathered in an attitude of worship, thanksgiving and reverence, as EH kindled the Havdalah candle to close Shabbat.  Shabbat is always a blessed time.  For us in my household, this Shabbat was a very special time.  We received a double portion by sharing it with family and friends. Some near, and some that had come from afar. 

What Becomes of the Brokenhearted

Some of you may remember the song, What Becomes of the Brokenhearted, originally released in 1966.  It speaks of love that is lost,  pain that is hard to bare, and the search to find love once more.  Here are a few lines that speak of darkness:

"I walk in shadows searching for light
Cold and alone, no comfort in sight
Hopin' and praying for someone who'll care
Always moving and going nowhere"

Not knowing any better, I remember as a teenager, identifying with the lyrics.  I'm so glad I'm not a teenager any longer --that I finally grew up.  It took a while. Yep, I was delayed by secular humanism.  You figure.

But, what has become of the brokenhearted?  I know there are some among us that keep that broken heart a secret.  The shadows of the past continue to impose a threatening dark presence.  The pain disguised very well.  The dark pressing shadows overcoming desires to engage, causing inertia and isolation.  Some drown in alcohol or stumble from drugs, while others self-medicate with calories.

I myself can name a handful of the brokenhearted, and to you I say. 

The darkness will turn.  Cry out and

Wait.

"I waited patiently for ADONAI,
till he turned toward me and heard my cry.
He brought me up from the roaring pit,
up from the muddy ooze,
and set my feet on a rock,
making my footing firm.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will look on in awe
and put their trust in ADONAI."
                    Tehillim (Psalm) 40


Then choose.

"Therefore, choose life, so that you will live, and your descendants, loving ADONAI your God, paying attention to what he says and clinging to him--for that is the purpose of your life!"
                                                      D'Varim (Deuteronomy) 30:19


For those around me tomorrow, to show my love and appreciation, I will be trying, Homemade Oreos, the cookie recipe from the Joy of Kosher.  They sound yummy!

 


   

Maturity

I believe the Word of G-d stands-- immutable.  When Saul (Paul) wrote, under the inspiration of the Ruach HaKodesh, in Ephesians 4:11 & 12, of  the five fold ministry, he did not write in past tense but in the present tense. 

He said, "Furthermore, he gave some people as emissaries, some as prophets, some as proclaimers of the Good News, and some as shepherds and teachers.  Their task is to equip God's people for the work of service that builds the body of Messiah, until we all arrive at the unity implied by trusting and knowing the Son of God, at full manhood, at the standard of maturity set by the Messiah's perfection."  Complete Jewish Bible.

Those verses are just as relevant today as they were in the middle of  the First century.

The task of all those listed is equipping us for the work of service that builds the body of Messiah.  Their job is to train us to build the body of Messiah.  How do you train?  What do you train with?  What are you training for? 

The TaNaK (Hebrew Bible/Old Testament) championed it's position in my Bible when I learned that Yeshua is the Torah (Word) made flesh, the living Torah (Word).  By substituting the word Torah for Word the meaning became clear.  My version of John 1:1 is now, In the beginning was the Torah, and the Torah was with God, and the Torah was God.

How the Torah should have preeminence in my life became clear when I learned that the references to scripture made by the Apostles were not to the New Testament writings but to the Torah.  Why is that important you ask?  Well, because if Yeshua is the Torah. He is also its author.  To know Him better, I felt I needed to start paying attention to what He wrote there. Not only that, if I said I loved Him, then I needed to put that love into action by doing what He said I should do. 

One great thing about the Messianic congregation is that every week portions of the Torah, Prophets, and The Gospels, are read out loud by members of the congregation on Shabbat.  During the reading you can feel the reverence to the Word of G-d.  It is considered an honor to be asked to read. And no one there takes it lightly.  The readings are lengthy and build upon the previous week.  Just the reading builds your knowledge of the Word of G-d.  Within one year you will have heard the Torah.

What is the standard of maturity set by the Messiah? Messiah himself is the standard we are to emulate.  As Rabbi Mark says, Yeshua, himself is the mark we are aiming for. His atoning sacrifice has freed us, to be able, and to want to do His will. 

How do you know what His will is?  How are we to live our lives, day to day, in a manner pleasing to G-d, where is that found?  It is found in the Torah.  I like boundaries because they help me stay on the right path.  The Torah teaches boundaries.  Don't you wish you had had some boundaries in your life? Do you think, sometimes had you had them, a whole lot of hurting would have been avoided?  I do.

It is a wonderful thing to be a gifted pastor, teacher evangelist, emissary, and prophet.  However, the equipping of G-ds people does not occur on the lofty heights of  metaphysical experiences as some would make it seem or sugar coated, watered down, gospel messages.

How do you raise the body of Messiah into full manhood? The answer is by teaching Torah. And the Torah (Yeshua) is the trainer. The Body of Messiah will grow with a full diet of Torah.

Inheritance Part 2 or DNA Can Only Help But So Much

Let me get back to the DNA results I was waiting for.  Obtaining the DNA sample is very easy.  FTDNA
supplies you with all the materials you need to provide them with a tissue sample.  You simply go to their web site, select the degree of testing you want, and make your payment.  Within days FTDNA sends you a numbered kit in the mail.

One thing I liked about FTDNA was that they emailed me when they put the kit in the mail.  Included in the email was the kit number and my personal password.  You will need both to check the web site for results.

Even though they said they would notify me when tests results were available.  I was too antsy.  I can't tell you the number of times I went to the web site checking for results. Lets just say it was too many.

It takes an average of 6 to 8 weeks to get your results back.  If you decide to have a deep clade test after the preliminary results are in, then you wait some more.  I would say it was another 4 weeks before those results came in. 

Easy Part.  Obtaining the tissue sample. You brush the inside of your cheek for 60 seconds and do this for both cheeks. You then place each individual brush in one of the two small vials supplied. You package your sample and mail it back to FTDNA.

Now I just couldn't mail it.  Not me.  I sent the sample priority mail, insured and requested receipt confirmation.  Overkill?  Maybe, but I wanted to make sure the sample got there.  That was the easy part.  Waiting for the results--that was hard.  Emphasis on hard.

To participate in The Puerto Rican Mallorcan Jew Project all that is required is testing for Y-DNA.  The Y chromosome is the sex chromosome that defines the male gender. The Y-DNA test is done to determine our paternal lineage.  Females do not receive the Y chromosome that their father carries.  It is only transmitted to males. Therefore, a male family member needs to supply the sample.

In my case, my brother provided the sample. I would have asked my uncle (father's brother) to supply the sample if my brother had been unable to.  I may not need to say this, but I will, the male providing the tissue sample must be directly from your paternal line.

Y-DNA changes very slowly.  So slowly that scientist have been able to mark those changes. These markers determine your haplotype and each haplotype is different for each male family line.  The arrangement or sequencing of DNA proteins is what makes each haplotype or family line unique. The haplotype predicts your haplogroup or ancient ancestral roots.  Your ancient ancestral roots are determined or confirmed by the deep clade test.

Wow, I hope I haven't lost you.  Maybe you skipped all that to get to this.  The results of the test.

Remember, The International Sephardim DNA Profile (ISDNAP), that I quoted from Dell Sanchez's book.  The book I kept referring to while I waited for the results.  The book was concise and easy to follow.  Much research has been done on this subject and I have read several research findings.  Dell's book happens to make a complex subject easy to read.

So, given the Sephardim DNA profile is a mixture of several haplogroups, I could not have guessed the group we would fall under.  I knew what I wanted us to be--Kohanim.  The J haplogroup.  The priestly group.  The descendants of Aaron.  But not so.

Results - E3b1. 
It turns out that we are of the E3b1 haplogroup.  This group is classified as Berber.  There is much discussion as to the origin of this group--Middle East, Near East, North Africa.  I went on line and looked for pictures of  Berbers.  Yep, I fit the description. 

Although, I knew that approximately, 13% of Sephardic Jewish males are of this haplogroup.  I was disappointed. It confirmed what I had already known that DNA in and of itself, cannot make a determination on your ethnicity, culture, or even religious background.  It meant/means that I have much work to do.  There is no easy way.  The only way to know is to go through very old documents, sift through extemporaneous materials, get names, dates, visit places, and put the pieces together a little at a time.  Only then will the DNA speak louder than words.

Before I close let me just say that I have DNA cousins all over the world now.  We know we share a common ancestor.  We are connected.  DNA does not lie.

Inheritance

My dear friend, MH, reminded me of the importance of DNA when it comes to our inheritance.  She was not referring to property or possessions.  No, what she was referring to is something much more valuable. 

It also isn't the fascinating genetic qualities that define us.  Those common traits, characteristics, and conditions that we pass on in our DNA.  We know full well that we inherit physical characteristics from our parents--hair color, eye color, stature, to name some.  But are there other things?  Let me give you an example.  My beautiful  grand daughter (doting grandma) has never met my mother.  Yet, you would think that she has by the way she gestures and moves her hands.  Yep, exactly like my mother did.  Is there a gene for hand gestures? I'm not sure, but it sure seems that way.

Has that ever happened to you with one of your family members?  One that reminds you of another long past gone?

Now consider this.  For some of us, those of us that don't have the entire family kit in the tree, there are personality traits, and characteristics that seem so different, we often wonder how the people that have them are part of the family.  Quirky personality traits that keep you wondering. Where did that come from?  Yep, DNA. 

But our inheritance, our heritage is more than those genes that define us.  What legacy are we heirs to?  Are we heirs to a legacy of faith, family unity, and community or selfishness, lawlessness and illegitimacy?  Are there lessons to be learned when putting the pieces together?   I think so.

My family tree has missing persons in it.  Some of these missing persons, over one hundred years ago, chose to walk away and leave their children fatherless.  Were they ever men of honor?  If so, what became of their honor?

What were the vulnerabilities of the women that chose these men? Where was their faith?  Had their faith vanished along with their identity?  What happened over the years to the brothers and sisters who knew of one another?  Now even their names are a mystery. 

I can share a little of what I know about the growing science of geneology.  But I'll do that another time. 

I just wanted to share that quite often we are ignorant of the family history that precedes us.  Sometimes we uncover ugly things about our ancestors.  Despite how ugly the family history may be, it is the unraveling of it, the understanding of it, the bringing it to the light, the light of Messiah that redeems it.  I would have to say that ultimately, He is our inheritance.  And he has taught us to forgive.

Before I close, I just have one more thing to add.  Common law marriages have never been recognized in Puerto Rico.  They are not considered legal.  It is only in the past century that the children from these relationships have acquired rights to community property.  Prior to that they were at the mercy of the
whims of the adults.

Who Am I -- Will the DNA Tell Me?

I have been interested in my genealogy for several years.  Unfortunately, this interest started many years after my father died. My mother, already suffering from early signs of dementia, provided some details, but not many.  There were, and remain, many family secrets on my mother's side of the family.  She has passed and I have so many questions left unanswered.  These unanswered questions have created  many road blocks.  So many that my family tree is laden with missing persons.  My father's youngest brother, has helped me put pieces together on father's side.  But, only so much.

I learned about the Puerto Rican Mallorcan Jews Project this past summer.  My maternal grandfather was from Mallorca, Spain.  And so the question was raised, could there be a hidden Jewish identity in my family?  The thought intrigued me. I couldn't shake it loose.  One evening I decided to to email the project co-administrator to get some advice and feedback.  I have communicated with her several times since then. To me she is a kindred spirit researching her ancestral roots. 

After deliberating back and forth with my sister, getting encouragement from my daughter, and the assistance of  my brother, who provided the Y-DNA, we were on our way to determining the ancient ancestral roots on my father's side.

Dell Sanchez's last book, Out of Hiding, includes results of recent DNA research that confirms the Jewish ancestry of the Mexican/American men that participated in the research.  While our Y-DNA results were pending, I read and re-read Out of Hiding. I referred to the research results time and again.  He records the following haplogroup determinations for Sephardic Jews--the Jews of Spain:

The International Sephardim DNA Profile (ISDNAP)

I = 1%  /  Q = 2%  /  K = 3%*  /  R1a = 4%  /  E3b1 = 13%  /  G= 16%  /  R1b = 13%  /  J1 = 16%  /  J2 = 32%

*Haplogroup K has become T

(Out from Hiding, Evidences of Sephardic Roots Among Latinos by Dell F. Sanchez, Ph.D)

During the Spanish Inquisition, Jewish people were expelled from Spain.  Escape to the Spanish colonies of the New World, although not easy, was possible.  Spanish Jews were the first European settlers in Puerto Rico, Cuba, Dominican Republic, Jamaica, Mexico, and parts of Central and South America.

In Puerto Rico little is known of this ancestry.  The ancestral Jewish identity has seemed to vanish.  Although not practiced today, there is one custom that Puerto Rican women had that speaks of Jewish ancestry - an interpretation of Leviticus 12:4. 

After childbirth, women kept "cuarentena," they stayed in bed, rested, and ate a special diet.  I know this first hand because my mother did this for her first 3 children.  My grandmother was instrumental in making sure of this.  To this day, I have recollections of my grandmother caring for my mother after the birth of my sister.  It was only after coming to the States that my mother stopped this practice.
 
I'm sure that had we remained in Puerto Rico my ancestral search would be so much easier.  Truth be told, I have to dig deeper.  I have to take a trip to the town where I was born and check all the records that may provide clues to the origin of my family members on both sides.

I participate in a home base fellowship and the pastors are wonderful, caring people.  They are close and dear friends. They are filled with love, an immense love, for all people but especially the Latino / Hispanic people. When they made aliyah to Israel last year they did not anticipate the identity search that would follow their return home.  They too have embarked on a genealogy search. 

"Converting" Part 2

The house is quiet. It's 2:47 AM and I just finished putting all the ingredients in the crock pot for the "Family Heirloom Chulent," from Jamie Geller's site the Joy of Kosher. It will be ready for my Shabbat dinner.  It's the first time I make it and I'm hoping it's a keeper.

I think I need to add a few things I forgot to say yesterday on "converting."

I've been wondering if I'm the only one that has developed a love for all things Jewish since digging deeper into the Hebraic roots of my faith.  I love the liturgy.  I love the messianic worship songs.  I love hearing the Hebrew prayers.  I can go on and on.  

Late one night I found, The Messianic Jewish Simcha, The Jewish Conversion Process, approved in 2001 by the Messianic Bureau International. At last, here was something that spoke of my experience.  The paper presented by Rabbi David M. Hargis, the General Overseer, starts off like this:

"The Messianic Jewish Simcha (conversion) is a controversial subject among Messianic Jews. This is because we are careful not to do anything to confuse or conflict with the simcha/celebration we have obtained in knowing Messiah Yeshua our L_RD. Knowing Him is the highest and best form of Judaism in our estimation."  


No argument with that.  Here is the me part, 


"All Messianics, whether from Jewish heritage or not, are unified as one new creation of G-d through their faith in Messiah Yeshua. This takes care of the spiritual connection, but there remains the need for many Messianic non-Jews to obtain people-hood in the earth. People-hood provides culture, which comes from a shared heritage, history, trouble and glory. Many non-Jewish Messianics feel closer to the Jewish culture than say their Irish, African, Hispanic, etc. roots. That should not be a surprise, since the Messianic Jewish restoration naturally promotes that sensibility. It does this by connecting the Ancient G-d of the Jews with His prophetic and revelatory work happening today."

I have been connected with the "Ancient G-d of the Jews." I am an eye witness to His prophetic and revelatory work that is happening today. That explains why I feel more connected to the Jewish culture than my Hispanic roots.  I realized I'm not the only one that has experienced this bond, this connection. There have been others, and they have wanted to convert as much as I do.


The paper explains in more detail the reasons, validity, pitfalls, safeguards, and the process of conversion.  By going through this process I would in effect be declaring again my love for Yeshua and my identification with Him.  I would also be associating myself with the people of Israel. Actually the paper states, "Extent of Simcha: It must be clear with candidates that the conversion is basically an association with people-hood and is not a verification of spiritual stature of any kind."     


Yes, I am in the process of converting.  It isn't done overnight.  But each day I get closer.


Yes, I am in the process of converting and thrilled about it.   


You can read it for yourself here, messianicbureau.org/synagogue/conversion.htm.
 

"Converting"

So, I jumped in.  I started attending the Hebrew class that Rabbi teaches on Thursday nights.  I stayed for the afternoon class on Shabbat.  I was excited and enjoying every minute of my new Messianic walk.  I asked one of the young men in the Hebrew class how one goes about becoming a member of the congregation.  My understanding of what he said seemed simple: complete the classes given on Shabbat and the Hebrew course.

When I started attending Sar Shalom, the afternoon class was in the middle of the book, To Be A Jew, A Guide to Jewish Observance in Contemporary Life, by Rabbi Hayim H. Donin.  Immediately following that we started reading, To Pray as a Jew, A Guide to the Prayer Book and Synagogue Service, also by Rabbi Hayim H. Donin. This was a wonderful way for me to start my Messianic experience.  By reading these books my faith deepened and my love for the Jewish people grew.  These books are a must read if you have any interest in what it means to be Jewish.  

I was beginning to have a deeper understanding of who my L-rd was.  For example, the prayers that have been said for thousands of years in Jewish Synagogues, yes the ones in the Siddur, the Jewish Prayer Book, are the same prayers Yeshua and his disciples would have prayed.  These are the same prayers said by the observant Jewish community to this day. How awesome is that!

I was loving my Messianic walk.  But when I would tell my family and close friends that I was "converting" they didn't understand what I meant.  What seemed so easy for me to do, like going Biblically Kosher, was proving to be difficult for some members of my family.  "But we are not Jewish," I was told by my well meaning family, "we have our own traditions."  For me, it wasn't giving up my culture.  It was adding a new dimension, a deeper, richer meaning to it. 

Understanding the Deeper Yearning

It was during my third visit to Sar Shalom that the L-rd spoke to my heart and said, "You have chosen well." No, I'm not crazy.  It happened while everyone was in prayer for 2 members of the congregation that were leaving for Israel. Rabbi was leading the prayer and was laying hands on the two men.  You could feel the L-rd's presence.  His Spirit was moving and people were being touched.  Hands were lifted up in adoration. The sound of Halleluyahs filled the air.  In the midst of this prayer, He spoke those words to my heart.  "You have chosen well."

Later, after the afternoon class was over and I was on my way home, I felt an overwhelming feeling of joy.  This joy was so intense that I found myself in tears.  I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Lord had led me to Sar Shalom.  He had brought me to a place where I would learn more of Him.

For years I had been praying and seeking for a deeper knowledge of the things of G-d.  I had asked the L-rd many times to teach me His ways.  Being a firm believer in the five fold ministry, I was exposed to the teachers, pastors, evangelists and especially over the past 4 years, to the prophetic and apostolic.  However, I still felt there was something missing.  Something that I had been unable to grasp.    What that turned out to be was Torah.

My First Step

I had visited Messianic congregations in the New York area in the past.  Not that many though. Those I visited seemed very familiar. They were similar to the charismatic, spirit filled, church I was attending .  Even the Friday night Shabbat services I attended, at a then nearby Messianic congregation in upstate New York, were basically no different than the Friday night service at my local church.  Foolishly, at that point, I decided there was no real difference between the two and I stopped searching for the more--something deeper in my walk with my the L-rd that my heart was asking for.

Although I was very drawn to the "Messianic,"  I didn't understand what that meant.  I knew I had a love for the Jewish people.  I knew my L-rd and Savior was Jewish.  What was I searching for?

I didn't know that it would take me 20 years to begin to learn the truth about the Hebraic roots of my faith.  You can say that I am just starting my Messianic walk.  It started a quick 6 months ago.  I say quick because I have learned so much in such a short amount of time.

Tony Robinson (restoration of torah.org) says that many Christians coming into the Messianic movement believe they were deceived by the Church, and they won't trust any teaching unless they see it first in the Torah.  I agree with Tony Robinson.  I am one of those believers. 

When I came face to face with the truth of Torah, I realized that I had been living my life accepting a partial truth.  Because of my ignorance, I was picking and choosing what commandments I would follow.  I thought that certain commandments were abolished and not for today.  This, however, is contrary to the Word of G-d. 

I have found the truth of Torah, but why was the Torah kept from me in the first place?  Why was I not taught Torah as I started my walk with the Savior?  Why wasn't Torah preached from the pulpit? 

I looked back at my Christian walk over the past 20 years and I see the mercy of G-d.  I see how His love for us transcends all our inadequacies and failures.  He sees our hearts.  If we seek Him with all our hearts, He will lead us to the complete truth of His Word. 

In his wisdom, Tony Robinson also says that many good things have come out of the church, more good than bad.  When coming into the Messianic, I was one of those who felt deceived by the church.  But if it hadn't been for the Church I would not have heard the message of salvation.  My heart would not have been stirred to take Yeshua into my heart and become his child. 

I stepped into Sar Shalom, a Messianic congregation, in July of 2011.  That was a life changing step.